Thursday, December 23, 2010

Why Do We Care What "Our Ex" is Doing?

Why do we want to know everything our ex is doing after they breakup with us? Isn't it enough that we were dumped but now we want to know all the sorted details of how happy they are without us? Are we all masochists or are we hoping that we are the ones doing better without them!
Susan McCord @

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Funny Online Dating Video Profile - " Two women for the price of one"

Two women tired of Internet Dating decide to spruce up their dating profile with a humerous video offering men exactly what they want ~ They also get two women instead of one! You can't beat this offer.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Dating Advice: What do you buy someone you've been dating for Christmas?

What do you buy for your boyfriend/girlfriend for Christmas that you have only been dating for 3 -6 months?

Monday, December 6, 2010

When Is The Right Time To Say I Love You?

Do people throw the "L Word" around too easily? Has someone said it to you in the first two weeks of dating them? Or are you the one who says it way too often? Are they settling & saying it too soon, because they are afraid to be alone?~ What are the signs that you are in love?


Most people just want to be loved in their lives but it is not a simple thing to obtain. We spend a large amount of time looking for love in the wrong places, only to wake up at 30/ 35 with a biological clock ticking like “Big Ben.” Men also feel the pressure to have children these days; it is not just about women’s eggs doing back flips to be fertilized anymore. This type of pressure can make both sexes settle with a partner that may not be the love of their life, but someone whom they are fairly compatible with for the most part.

We read about seniors that found love quickly after they lost a spouse but now it is happening at a much earlier stage of life. Is it “love” or just afraid of being alone and willing to really like someone? Companionship is what many couples end up with in the end anyway. (Let’s face it passion is probably not head banging sex in your 70’s.) Have we all become too busy to give attention to a loving relationship & wake up too late down the road? All of a sudden we are frantic and running out of time to find our partner.

How do we know if we are settling, or someone is settling with us?

How To Tell If “The L word” Is Being Taken Advantage Of, Or Meant With Sincerity:

• They tell you they love you in the first 2 weeks
• Their parents are already aware of you & setting the table for a family dinner
• You celebrate your first month Anniversary
• They start managing your life right away & plan things months in advance
• They only say I love you in the orgasmic moment or when drinking too much
• You have met all their friends by the 3rd date.
• They have bought you monogrammed towel sets
• They gave you a house key immediately!

We are all as much to blame sometimes, for the lustful attraction that make us believe it is truly love we feel. It is an easy trap to fall into especially if it has been awhile for these powerful feeling to enter our hearts. There is nothing in the world like “new love,” we just have to make sure that is what it is. Jumping in too fast to any relationship is setting yourself up for a fall. Taking the time to get to know someone lets you stand back & watch each other from a realistic distance. Courting each other slowly keeps the relationship progressing at a natural pace. You are still living your life but also making room for them. It isn’t ALL about them. That is the difference to finding true love; they are the frosting on your cake, an addition that fits in as partner for a possible long term commitment. Jumping in to fast inevitably ends exactly the same way. Savor each new moment & let the flavor release slowly ~ Enjoy them...

Susan McCord @

Friday, December 3, 2010

Monday, November 29, 2010

CBC Facebook Survey: Breakups Over Christmas

Why do so many people breakup over Christmas? Is it the money? The fear of meeting your partner's family? Or is it a pressure that is put on the relationship for more of a commitment?

Susan McCord @

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Whats The Big Deal About Reality Show - Jersey Shore?

OK Tell me why Jersey Shore is so popular? I understand that it is different & people want to live vicariously through this group of people that have so much fun, but is is something that will last through more than 4 seasons? I must admit, it is pretty crazy & not boring! Is this the reason it is a #1 hit? Tell us what you think!

Susan McCord @

Friday, November 26, 2010

Getting Dumped Before Christmas

Today is Friday November 26, 2010

Facebook says you're about to be dumped

By denise ryan 26 Nov 2010 COMMENTS(0) Love/Life

Filed under: relationships, facebook, Dating

Facebook knows when you'll get dumped. It's in the next two weeks. Merry Christmas everyone.

According to Brit journalist David McCandless, who scraped data from over 10,000 facebook status updates, the first two weeks of December are peak times for heartbreak.

More couples will break up in the weeks leading up to Christmas than at any other time of year, although Spring Break (who wants a gf or bf on Spring Break?) comes close.

For anyone who is in a relationship, and doesn't yet know whether they're going to be his or her date for the Christmas party, the silence is probably a sign that you're heading for a seasonal break up.

Susan McCord, Vancouver dating and relationships expert, calls it "The Christmas question."

"Any time there is money involved, where you have to buy gifts and there is a financial pressure, you do become vulnerable."

But it's not just about money. The holiday season raises the stakes.

"People stress themselves out around Christmas. You've got this whole family thing. People start saying what am I doing in this relationship? If they've been dating for a year or so, they might feel pressure to pop the question, and might not be ready to do that."

The pressure of the upcoming season can spike fighting, said McCord. "If you've each got kids and havent met them, it adds to the pressure. On the other hand, if you've been together four or five months and you're not being asked to come to certain functions, family or work, it causes a lot of pressure. You might start asking yourself what am I doing hanging around here?"

McCord speaks from personal experience. She raised her son as a single mom. She confesses that she was more often the dumper than the dumpee, and yes, pre-Christmas was often the breaking point. Breaking up is sometimes just what you do if Christmas is coming and you've got a kid.

"If you're not sure, it heightens everything. Fear of commitment, fear of meeting family."

Meeting family was the last thing McCord wanted to do. Partly because she didn't want to put her son through that, and also, if she wasn't ready to commit, she didn't want to put whomever she was dating through meeting her larger-than-life Dad.

"My father is right in your face," she jokes. "He's 'what are you doing with my daughter'! If I took them to a family function it was because we had a totally committed relationship at that point."

Gifts and expectations are another minefield the less-sure half of a vulnerable couple may want to avoid.

If you've met your bf or gf in the summer, Christmas is just about at the six-month point. The six-month point, McCord says, is make or break: make a commitment or move on.

The average amount young couples spend on each other at Christmas is $1,000, says McCord. "It's not just a Timex watch anymore."

Especially among young people, the prime facebook demographic of under-25s, many of whom are status-oriented, the pressure to overspend can be enough to push a vulnerable relationship over the edge.

"They start saying, do I really want to spend a thousand dollars?" says McCord. "Young boys and girls I know also get dumped before their birthdays for the same reason."

McCord, just for the record, has been married for three years. She had only been going out with the guy she later married for a few months when Christmas hit. He got her a silver bracelet that was thoughtful, represented a commitment (it was jewellery, after all), but had cost, she estimates, about $100.

It was perfect. If he'd spent more, she says, it would have scared her away.

How do you deal with it? Vancouver boutique dating coach Mick Lolekonda advises that you get out and enjoy the season. Be more social, not less. Spend time with friends and family. Don't isolate.

"Focus on making great connections, and expanding your social networks."

He also reccomends cutting ties with your ex so you can release any emotional holds more easily: Delete the contact phone number, take them off facebook. Whatever it takes to clear some space.

The holidays, he points out, are also a wonderful time to meet new people. "People are more open, they're more sensitive, their guards are down, they're going to more events, they're more social."

Who knows? That breakup could be the best thing that ever happened to you.

So I want to know. Have you been on the receiving end of the pre-Christmas dump? Or have you dumped before Christmas?

Let me know how you survived.

(For the record, I have had the December dump, a few years ago. It was, in a word, rotten.)

check out Susan McCord online at

Funny Bedroom Etiquette

Growing up, some people were lucky to have had guidance in many areas of their lives, but how many had a "sex etiquette teacher|"? Unless you have made a conscious effort to learn a little about sexual etiquette, chances are, you may be somewhat naive about what it is, and how to improve it. (Especially if you have not dated a lot.)

The points below will help novice daters, and remind & refresh attitudes of even the most experienced lovers!

• Be tactful & respectful when talking about sexual history. Don’t wait to talk about it in the bedroom! Be polite and use diplomacy. Do not use "opening lines" like: “Do you have any diseases,” or “Can I have a list of the last 10 people you have slept with?”

• First and foremost, it is considered poor etiquette to leave your partner sexually unsatisfied in the bedroom unless you have talked about it and you are working on improving it together. Not everyone can orgasm easily, but it doesn’t let you off the hook not to try every time!

• If you have more than one lover, remove any evidence of someone being there previously. That includes washing the sheets! You would think this was a given, but you would be very surprised at how many people do not clean their rooms regularly.

• Condom wrappers are not decorations and neither are "spanking the monkey" tissue remnants! If you are having sex with someone for the first time, you might want to do a spot check on just what exactly is in your bedroom and the medicine cabinet! (Many a story has been told, due to this oversight.)

• Ensure there is toilet paper and a clean towel & face cloth for your guest, regardless of whether they are spending the entire night. ( Mouth wash is also a nice touch)

• Have a couple of toothbrushes on hand and some disposable razors.

• Guys, please have some tampons under your sink at all times, there is nothing more embarrassing for a woman than a surprise at that time of the month. Leave them in the front so she doesn’t have to dig for them or have to ask you.

• If you expect someone to participate in oral sex for an hour, don’t hand them a snorkel without reciprocating orally! It is not a one-way street. You will end up with a very bad reputation if you are a selfish lover. People talk whether you are lousy or great in bed.

• Don’t grab her ponytail or head as an indicator that you would like her to to perform fellatio, and use the ice cream cone lick when you are first learning about her, down south. Sex Films make women look like they want it hard and rough, most women don’t. When in doubt, ask or watch her body language when you first start cunnilingus.

• Men really enjoy reciprocation but also need to be treated gently in the beginning. They are pretty good at guiding women with oral sex and letting them know if they want a lollipop or soother technique.

• Do not "text" someone while performing oral sex!

• Keep the dominatrix apparel out of sight until you have established something with your date. Shackles/ handcuffs/ latex and whips, might be a bit much too soon! If your partner is extremely opposite to your sexual tastes, be honest and move on.
(Someone else will appreciate your Little Red Riding outfit or Latex Batman costume.)

• Have a shower and floss your teeth. If you have a planned date, don’t chew garlic cloves before they arrive. It is offensive and over powering. It certainly does not make someone want to kiss you romantically and it is rude.

• Hygiene is the most important of all sex etiquette. Shaving or waxing is being respectful of your partner. No one wants a mouth of hair! Bring out the garden shears if you have to and that goes for your toenails too. If they can open cans, they are in need of pedicure. That goes for both sexes.

Susan McCord

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Joining the Mile High club is on just about everybody's bucket list. Get first hand ADVICE from an Ex-Flight Attendant on how to have sex at 35,000 ft!
Susan McCord @

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Dating Advice: When Roommates Become Lovers

What happens if you are sexually attracted to your roommate? Talk show hosts tell their own stories of what transpired with their own roommates of the past! Friend's with benefits can be good for short term but do they work out with a commitment in the end?
Susan McCord @

Friday, November 12, 2010

Women Discuss Men's Health Magazine & Jimmy The Bartender

Women talk show hosts discuss Jimmy the bartender's advice column in Men's Heath Magazine. Is it OK for a guys girlfriend to join a men's group of golfers on a guys day out? She doesn't know how to golf & is slowing down the game.

Susan McCord @

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Susan McCord - MORE Magazine

Susan McCord is a member of the More community and publishes on We think you may like to read their work.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Dating Differences from your 20's to 30+

Talk Show Hosts discuss the dating checklists & how they differ from your twenties to your thirties + Do men & women need to alter there picky priorities? Is it all about looks or T&A?
Susan McCord @

Monday, October 25, 2010

How Do I Get My Girlfriend to Have A Brazilian & Mustache Wax?

A guy wants advice on how to tell his girlfriend that he is not sexually attracted to her due to her excess pubic hair & her obvious mustache shadow? How does he tell the woman he loves that he is turned off without hurting her? This is a very sensitive subject which needs a diplomatic approach. Buying a gift certificate for a waxing salon might be just a tad too obvious...
Susan McCord @

Monday, October 18, 2010

Dating Advice: Is It Too Aggressive To Put A Note On A Guys Car?

Two women discuss whether it is OK to leave your number on a guys car that you are interested in. Is it too aggressive or is she a borderline stalker? How safe is it and what precautions should a woman take?

Susan McCord @

Friday, October 15, 2010

Do You Have a Relationship Like "Carrie and Big" from Sex & The City?

Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City had very few boundaries when it came to her boyfriend Big. Why do many women allow men to screw them around in the way she did on the show? Are they lacking self respect or are they just happy to be with someone part time whenever the guy wants them? Men really do not want a puppy dog, they want a woman!

Susan McCord @

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Dating Advice: My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum to move in or move on!

My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum after being together for one year. She says we either move in together or our relationship is over! Is this what women do now, threaten their men? Why is their a time limit? It is a turn off & not making me want to be there anymore!

Why are there so many people in forced relationships today? Is it the fear of being alone? Are men & women settling into a partnership because it is the best scenario for that moment? Sharing your life with someone you love can be a difficult commitment, but living with someone you just “like,” will erupt over time due to boredom. Compatibility & chemistry are needed tools to keep a relationship fresh & alive! Friendship is a big necessity as well, but the other two components need to be there to keep the love blossoming.

There seems to be a maximum two year deadline for women who want a commitment from their partner. Ultimatums are a common discussion at this time. Men do not respond well to this & view it as a threat, which ultimately it is. Women that resort to this type of behavior have not been paying attention to the relationship’s red flags. If she has to have this conversation with her man, there is a problem that she has not noticed. Relationships that are right, do not need to be pushed into commitments, they naturally flow to that place all on their own. It is a natural progression.

Occasionally an ultimatum can work for some people because they might need a wake up call. They may have been a little afraid of the next step of moving in together, an engagement or just a more committed phase in the relationship due to past history or a divorce situation. By bullying someone into marriage or house hunting when they are not ready, is not a romantic exercise, & usually leads to the demise of the relationship out of resentment, later on.

10 Red Flags to Watch for with Commitment Phobic Partners:

• They go out 3 or more nights a week without you
• Plan most of their vacations with friends & exclude you
• Talk about buying a place alone
• Do not open up with you about their thoughts
• They have many friends in the same city you have never met
• After a year together, they still say “I” instead of “we”
• No mention of plans for the future as a couple
• They talk about moving to another city or big travel plans that do not include you.
• There is little romance and the sex is robotic.
• They seldom tell you they love you

Being aware of your part in the relationship & how it is progressing should not be overlooked. Mutual love & support should be naturally occurring as the partnership grows. If it is stagnant & predictable early on, the chance of a happy future with this person will probably not happen. Deciding to ignore the signs is limiting your happiness and cheating you out of a wonderful future with someone compatible.

After 6 months in a relationship, the signs are usually laid out in front and obvious to those who are paying attention. Dating is there for a reason, to find out if two people fit together & can ultimately having a loving future as a couple. Being aware and listening to your inner self, will help you make wise & fulfilling choices for the wonderful partner you wish to meet & spend your life growing old with.

Written by Susan McCord

Susan McCord @
Andrea Wesley @

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Question From LinedIN associate, Marvin

Is it human nature, natural instinct or something else?

I've heard both men and women rationalize why men cheat on their spouses/significant other because men are hunters and it's difficult to curb their natural instinct to hunt and achieve new conquests (albeit hooking up with someone else). Do you agree or disagree and why?


Hi Marvin,

I agree that men are hunters & that goes back to the cavemen days. Men like to bring home the buffalo, so to speak. Women are not angels in this department anymore & can be just a guilty in the infidelity stats. The real problem with any relationship is not communicating or listening to your partner's needs.

Men can tune out occasionally & women become nags because they don't feel they are being heard. If both men & women take the time to listen to each other, there will be less reason to stray for everyone. There will always some men that hunt continuously whether they are in a happy relationship or not, but they are usually pretty obvious and women should be able to see those red flags a mile away.

Susan McCord

Friday, September 24, 2010

Dating Advice: Why do guys always seem to go for the bad girls or "bitch...

Why do some men like dating high maintenance women? is it all about the chase? Wanting a challenge? Do nice guys & nice girls still finish last? Bitchy girls always seem to get the hot guy! What is wrong with this picture?

Susan McCord @
Andrea Wesley @

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

How to shave your balls - making your lady happy

This is so funny & well done! Enjoy this video from one of my subscribers!

Funny Grooming tips For men To Get Laid

This is one of my oldest & funniest videos I have ever uploaded but I still get a kick out of it. Beware, it is in fast motion but that is what makes it funny. Enjoy!!

Susan xo

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Dating Advice: What is the best way to get noticed on an internet datin...

Two women want to know the best way to get noticed online. Do not BS in your Bio or Profile, be honest about everything if you are serious about meeting a potential partner.

While the preferred method of meeting a potential partner is at a function or event, many people today are looking for a date through online resources. This is mainly due to time, busy careers, age & even laziness. You don’t even have to dress or do your hair while talking with them online unless you are chatting through a web cam. It can be very exciting for some men & women who have had minimal dating experiences. All of a sudden they are connecting with new prospects on a daily basis!

Once you have decided to go online & choose your preferred dating site, your profile & photo are the most important tasks to pay specific attention to. Look around at other people’s profiles and make note of the ones that catch your eye. Review both men & women in your age category. When writing your Bio, try to keep it limited to 2-3 short paragraphs. Write out a rough draft of all your strong qualities, your preferences, boundaries (age, smoker, drinker, fitness level etc.) Ask a friend to describe you if you have trouble writing about yourself or have someone assist you that already have an online dating profile.

Photos should be attractive & classy. Showing too much cleavage, abdominals or biceps is making a sexual statement. (Of course if that is what you are looking for, then by all means post your best assets for all to see!) If you are serious about finding a life partner, then it is important to put “out” what you want to receive.

Be aware of your surroundings in the photo. If housekeeping is not your strong point, don’t take the photo next to a cluttered room. One of the biggest turn offs for others viewing your profile, is posting a picture of yourself with an old flame. It does not make you look important it makes you look vain and insecure. Air brushing your imperfections is not a good idea either because you will meet them one day. Remember that everyone has flaws no one is immune to that.

Humor is a wonderful quality and showing that in your written profile will give you a huge advantage when people read it. Being too serious or clinical is not attractive. By being specific with what you are looking for, you may have fewer suitors contacting you, but you will quickly weed out the ones that are not your type. Quality is what you are looking for in the long run. This way you will not waste time with the wrong ones and can concentrate on dating people you have lots in common with.

One thing to keep in mind, some people are content to just chat online without ever meeting anyone. They could just be fulfilling an ego need & that is all they want, or they may be married or in a relationship. This should be viewed as a red flag and seen early on. By deleting these types right away, you will spend less time waiting for them to make a date in person because you see them for what they are. You will become an expert over time & learn to spot these Internet dating leaches.

While venturing into this online journey it is important to have the same morals and values you have always had outside of Internet dating. Be careful not let too many things slide outside your boundaries or comfort zones, make excuses for the wrong ones or overlook things because you may be lonely. Be clear about what you want on your dating profile and in your life. When someone is right for you it does tend to happen naturally. It progresses without all the questions. “When will I see them again? “Are they going to call me again?” “Are they interested in me?” Think back to some of the tiresome relationships that were in your life, if it seems like too much work, it probably is. When a relationship is on the right track the feelings are reciprocated and if not, as Greg Behrendt would say, “Maybe they’re just not into you”.


• Honesty – Only write the truth about who you are
• Make it short & to the point – If it is too lengthy, people with get bored & move on.
• Conservative photos – Save your “sexy qualities” until after they have earned your respect
• Only write about what you like, not what you don’t like.
• Disclose all children & pets living with you (Could you give Octomom a run for her money?)
• Your interests/activities should only include what you actually enjoy doing (if you have a fear of water do not say that white water rafting is your number one adventure sport)
• Be Specific as to what you are looking for – (no long distance, age restrictions, race)
• Do not ever put your phone number or email contact numbers on your profile

Susan McCord @ http:/

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Sexual chemistry

One of the big questions for new singles in Vancouver is: How do you know when someone is interested?

Reciprocated chemistry is the answer. This is what you feel when you are sitting beside them or even just gazing at them across the room. Sometime the pheromones are so powerful that it actually pulls you towards them like a magnetic force. There is a magic in the air and it is an unmistakable euphoric feeling. How often does it happen? Not as often as one would think.

What are the signs?

• There is an overwhelming urge to be close and touch them. It is like an electric current that is pulling you into them. It is not always at the right moment, it can be with someone who is out of bounds, but it is an undeniable & feeling hard to ignore!
• Nervousness that you are not used to feeling
• An arousal in the loin area & their touch is electric
• An amazing urge to kiss them right there on the spot
• you are willing to sleep with them as quickly as possible despite your strong morals
• Their scent is overly alluring & draws you closer
• You are drawn into their eyes & have trouble focusing on what they are saying

If you are both single this is a gift from nature, but it can be the catalyst in many relationship problems! Due to the magnitude of the electrical current some people tend to step over their boundaries. Acting first & dealing with the repercussions later. There are different levels of chemistry. Sometimes it is slow and drawn out and becomes more powerful over time, but more often it is an instant feeling that blindsides your existence.

Chemistry is something that you feel uncontrollably but is more powerful than lust. When you can feel someone‘s energy matching yours & the sexual endorphins are released, nothing is as powerful! (Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt are probably a great example of this.)

Is chemistry doomed from the start? Will it fizzle and die just as fast as the flame that was lit? Some people can have a sexual relationship without the love & passion, a "friend’s with benefits" rapport. When you are lucky enough to meet someone who can even make you feel warm and sensual over the phone or without even speaking, that is rare & very hot.

Does age make a difference in how a person looks at chemistry? As a person matures, so does their awareness. They may become more selective or intuitive due to some of the mistakes they have made in the past. Now when they feel it, they know it.

In your younger years you are sexually peaking and everything is experimental and not so much about chemistry. Everyone looks good and feels good for a while until you start to differentiate with new emotions. In high school most crushes are experiments with an attraction. No one is thinking about a future yet.

How do you keep chemistry from fading like lust does? Ask your partner what the word means to them? Keep that alive and work with it continuously. Many couples let it fade by allowing other daily forces replace passion. Nurturing each other first should be a priority. Think back to when you first became a couple, everything else in your life took second place. Keeping the chemistry alive will keep your relationship alive!

Many parents today think it is selfish to get a babysitter and have a date night. Many older parents fall into this trap, they have waited so long to have a family & make it all about the children. This is a big mistake. Is it better for the kids to come from a divorced family because the couple who made the kids, forgot how to love each other?

The key to keeping the chemistry alive over the years is exactly that, “keeping it alive”:

• Put notes or something sexy in their briefcase or lunch bag
• Leave a sexy message on their hotel voice mail when they are traveling.
• Leave a note under their pillow or on the counter when you are not with each other.
• Give small gifts that remind you of them.
• Send a sexy E-mail or text to them even if you live together
• Say something sweet every day. It goes a long way
• Listen to what they would like to do and surprise them with making it happen.
• Compliment their achievements no matter how small.

"There are four types of chemistry: Physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. How great would it be to have all four!"

Some situations have a few barriers and may need constant nurturing to be kept alive. If they live out of town you have to be creative on a daily basis to keep the chemistry alive. If they have children from another relationship, own their own business or have huge commitments within their career, this can play a part in destroying even the most overpowering chemistry. Feeling secure is very important & communication is the key to keeping the passion alive in any relationship.

Susan McCord @
Vancouver Dating Relationship Advice

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Dating Advice: My girlfriend Wants An Open Relationship With Another Woman

Dating Question From A Viewer:

Hi there. I am a male viewer & one of your biggest fans. I know you can help me with this as you are both honest & non judgmental with your advice. My girlfriend who I live with, wants to have an open relationship with another woman. She is also OK with me having another woman as well. Is this becoming the normal way for relationships?
Susan McCord @
Andrea Wesley

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Dating Advice: My Boyfriend Might Be Addicted To Porn

A Viewer writes into the show about her boyfriend being addicted to pornography. She found out by snooping on his computer. Which is worse, him watching porn or her being invasive? Tune in with Susan McCord & Andrea Wesley "Two Women,Two Generations,Two Opinions -Real Advice!"

Susan McCord
Andrea Wesley @

Friday, September 3, 2010

Questions About Online Dating After 35

Are "The Rules" different for people over 35 when it comes to Internet Dating?
No I don’t think they are any different. I think we are less patient as we get older though. I don’t think many people would text each other 15 times before meeting in person like the younger group does. If they even know how to text LOL. It is all about respecting yourself first, at any age. That should be everyone's first rule.

What are the rules?

My rules were:

• “Don’t waste my time if you are not interested in meeting me”
• I’m not online to meet a buddy, I have enough male friends
• I wasn’t into chatting for a month before hooking up with them.
• If someone books a time to meet with you & cancels or stands you up, don’t contact them again. They are showing their true colors and not being respectful of your time. (Of course if they were in the hospital in a body cast that’s another story.)
• Be honest about your age & body type for both sexes. They are going to SEE you!
• Vices like smoking or alcoholism should not be hidden on your profile
• If you are not ready for a relationship STAY off the dating websites...see a counselor

What do you need to be aware of?

• Read between the lines or listen to what they say on the phone.
• If they say they don’t like kids & you are the Octomom, then find someone else.
• Look for signs that they may be in a relationship. Where are they calling you from? A closet or bathroom? Is it always somewhere outside their home? If you have had 5 dates already & have not seen their home, ask the question why?
• Watch how they treat others in your company. Are they rude, flirtatious, a show off, bossy?

How Do You Protect Yourself On An Internet Date & While Online?

• Have a friend close by for the first few dates
• Ask many questions about who they are online & in person
• Google them
• Let friends know where you will be meeting them & give them the phone number & email contact. Let your date know that some people know.
• Do not let them drive you anywhere until you know them better & always meet in a public place no matter how sincere they may sound in an email or phone call.
• Do not dress provocative , be selective in your dating attire. Dress your age too
• If they talk sex too early, stop it from continuing. Don’t lead them on before meeting them.

Is Internet Dating Safe?

Like many things today, safety has become compromised for many people in numerous situations. The key is to always be aware of your surroundings whether it is parking in an underground, putting your groceries in the car when late night shopping, or meeting a potential date.

Alcohol is the biggest problem for many women on a first date. They think it gives them liquid courage but truly it lets their intuitive guard down. This now makes her vulnerable to things she may have usually put a stop to. Her "spidey senses" are now muted & her safety is as well.

It is always best to meet during the day in a busy area for a coffee. You never want to be put in the position where you feel you owe them for something. Dinner & drinks can be a dangerous date!

What Are Your Reasons For Going Online & Does it Work For People Over 35?

I am a huge fan of online dating for the older crowd, especially in Vancouver. There are limited venues for 40 plus in this city, therefore less chance of meeting a potential partner. Single women who have very few friends to go out with, do not want to sit at a bar looking like a cougar or to appear desperate. It is very scary for many newly single women out of a divorce or long term partnership to get back out into the dating market as well.

The only big complaint that I have heard about online dating sites, is that the women say men in their 40’s or 50’s only want women 20 years younger. While that was true a few years ago, it now seems to be changing with the online dating crowd. There are so many more people to choose from than 10 years ago. People were more afraid of it & there were less dating sites to choose from. I love the fact that you can sit in your housecoat & flirt with guys!

The second complaint I hear is that many people say they are computer illiterate and wouldn’t know the first thing about how to set up a profile or how to use the website features. If I could teach a class on how to use a computer to change your life, I would teach it! Being left behind in the technology world will not improve your life with or without a partner. Why not learn everything you can & diversify your life? That’s what makes you attractive to a partner in the long run anyway. You may not need to resort to online dating as you will meet people along these new paths you take.
Susan McCord @ youtube/twobeavers

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Are You Addicted To Online Dating?

Many people only date through online resources. This is mainly due to age, time and busy careers. (You don’t even have to dress for the occasion unless you’re socializing with them through a Web cam.) It is almost too easy, and this is what causes the addiction. It can be very exciting for some people who have always had a minimal personal life. All of a sudden they are getting 5 to10 e-mails a day from prospective dates!

The addiction is not necessarily even with meeting the contacts. Even if you do end up meeting them, many people do not want to take their profiles off the dating site, in case it doesn’t work out. Many are content to just chat online. This can keep people interested for a few months without ever meeting them, because that is all they want. This should be viewed as a Red Flag. (They are probably married or in a relationship.)

Another ongoing situation with online dating, is how often people get contacted by some of the same interests as their friends. It can be very difficult to hear how their date went when yours may be scheduled in the next week with the same person. It sounds like they are being disloyal but truly they aren’t. It is “all fair” until you remove yourself off the site, and become exclusive with them.

Just because it seems easy, you should still have the same morals and values you have always had. Don’t let too many things go, or give excuses for everything either. Know what “you want” going in! Make a list and try not to stray too far from your desires. When someone is into you, they will make it happen.


• The minute you get home you turn on your computer
• You socialize less with friends
• You eat your meals, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth and do yoga in front of the computer so you don’t miss anything.
• You check to see when your “past” dates are going online
• You are going to bed later and later due to online chats
• You are becoming moody with regards to lack of online responses
• You get depressed when there are no contacts every day
• You are becoming introverted and removed.
• You have approached the same people more than once without realizing it.

Online dating is a great option especially with the economy spiraling and people are not going out as much. Meeting people is harder when you are older, as there are only so many venues that cater to the over 35 crowd. It is a good idea to limit yourself to only one dating site; some people are on three or more.

The “free dating sites” are the most popular to join for obvious reasons. Trouble is everybody and their dog joins them, and they have nothing to lose financially. Many people are frustrated with those sites because no one follows through with anything. There are a few sites out there that cost a little more but they do the screening for you, and save you hours of chat time and searches. They match YOU up! People are more serious when they have to pay for something. The old saying: “you get what you pay for”, can be a true cliché in this case.

Don’t be shy of dating online, but keep your eyes open all the time. If any of the above addictions are becoming a part of your life, re-evaluate how you got to this place and make some changes. With so much to choose from and so many frivolous situations pending, it can be difficult to meet someone of substance. By being true to yourself and selective with your priorities in a potential partner, there won’t be a huge list of suitors for you to keep up with. It’s not about the quantity; it’s always been about quality when finding that special life partner at the end of the day.
Susan McCord @

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Discussing Sexual Preferences With Your Partner

Many women ask me the same question about sex. They want to know how to tell their partner that they are not being fulfilled sexually. It is an extremely sensitive subject for both parties and is better discussed in the initial stages of your relationship. Once you have been sleeping with them for a few months, it may now viewed as a criticism instead of positive feedback.

I have always talked openly in the dating stages before any intimacy took place. It is a conversation that must take place outside of the bedroom and preferably sober. Start by telling them the simple things you enjoy. Kissing, gentle massages & erogenous areas that arouse you. When you feel more comfortable you can bring in the heavier subjects like oral sex or positions you like or will not ever do. It is very important to be open with your partner. There is no room for shyness if you want an honest & loving sex-life. So many women are afraid to share their feelings for fear of making their man feel inadequate. By using diplomacy and talking about it early in the relationship, you will alleviate many of these fears.

Men really enjoy a woman who can tell them what she wants in bed. It makes them happy that they can please her. We are all different in what turns us on & men are not mind readers. They need a little help once in awhile. Oral sex is usually one of the hardest subjects for both sexes to talk about. It is a great part of love making but not everyone views it that way. Some people have been brought up to think it is a part of sex not open for discussion. Find out early if this is the case because it can cause huge relationship problems down the road when it is not reciprocated. It is a part of life and a huge part of the sexual act for most people. Couples need to be on board with each other and respect each others boundaries. That is what dating is all about, getting to know each other. The more you converse with your partner, the more you will know the real person you are dating.

Susan McCord @

Dating Advice: My Boyfriend doesn't like oral sex!

A viewer writes in to the show about her problem. Her boyfriend does not preform oral sex with her. She feels insecure that he doesn't find every part of her sexy. How does she handle this situation? Everything else in their relationship is great & she really does love him.

Susan McCord @

Saturday, August 14, 2010


The five most common reasons that women give for faking orgasms are:

  • To satisfy their men so they don't find a new lover
  • To end sex when they are tired or bored
  • Lack of Libido or interest in sex
  • They have a hard time climaxing
  • Demanding or over sexed partner
Many men today do not feel they are a great lover, until they give their partner an orgasm. Times have changed from many chauvinists lovers of the past. Men's reputations are at stake because women talk more openly today than ever before! (It has definitely become a 2 way street & your name could be mud if you are dull in bed.) Men are starting to feel pressured & sometimes it is too much to be the continual stud.

Many drugs available now can diminish the libido, like Prozac and Paxil. It is interesting that we take this pill because we are depressed, and then we lose interest in sex due to their side effects! Contradicts the whole process don't you think? Now we are depressed all over again.

Many women do not want to say NO to their partner for fear that if he is not sexually satisfied, he will wander to someone else's bed! There is validity in this thinking, especially if the sex has been lacking for quite a while. To keep the kindling on the fire many people will perform the "mercy" fake orgasm.

We all know we can fake it, but we certainly don't want to get in the practice of becoming good at it. If you are doing this on a regular basis, there is a problem with your relationship that needs addressing. (On the other hand, if you are living with a constant horn-dog, then by all means to get a good night's sleep once a week and go win that Academy Award!)

Some women take a while to climax and feel uncomfortable that their partner has to spend so much time pleasing them. They want them to feel like they are a fabulous lover in record time, not an hour and a half later. If this becomes a continual habit, it may not be YOU with the problem, it could be that you are sexually incompatible with that particular person. Not everyone is meant for each other and sometimes the sex is downright awful!

Don't always assume that you are the bad lover. They could be lazy and spoiled, therefore a selfish lover. In other words people flock to them, so they don't have to work too hard to woo someone into the bedroom.

Some Countries don't allow their women to have an orgasm and mutilate their clitoris so they never will. Can you believe that in today's world this is still practiced? In some cultures there is still a "who cares attitude" if the women orgasm or not. Many of these women will fake an orgasm so they don't hurt their man's ego!

Another fear or sexual pressure for some women, is the Viagra pill that is so available. Now men have an erection for a few hours rather than 15 minutes. The day Viagra comes out with a libido pill for women, will be the day the sexes become equal. Equal pay is one thing, but equal sex is everything!

Susan McCord

Thursday, August 12, 2010

My girlfriend is very sarcastic

VIEWER QUESTION: My girlfriend is very sarcastic and it is starting to get to me…

Hi Susan, I hope you can help me with this and I appreciate you being totally honest with how you respond. My girlfriend of 5 years is a beautiful woman but she is not happy in her job as a waitress. (On the contrary I love my job as a fireman.) We live together and were inseparable for the first 3 years. She has always been a little sarcastic and I used to think it was funny & meant in a lighthearted way. Now I feel she is using it at my expense & I do not find it humorous in the least, and it’s very derogatory. She has a few girlfriends that she treats the same way and I have noticed they are coming around less & less. I have told her how I feel but she can’t seem to help herself and is still sarcastic on a daily basis. I am almost ready to leave our relationship but still love her. What do you suggest?

Almost Done Daniel


Hi Daniel, I am so glad you wrote! I am not a fan of sarcasm and never have been. It has a very small place in the world of communication but occasionally there can be some funny one liners & needed comebacks. For the most part though, it is a nasty way of verbalizing what someone really wants to say in a negative way. They think if they add humor it will lose the real intent of their feelings. Sarcasm is used by people who are insecure for the most part. It makes them feel better by shutting someone else down in a playful way. The problem is, it isn’t playful after the second & third time it is repeated.

You mentioned your girlfriend is not happy in her job, that is where her insecurity lies. She is mad at herself for not changing her life & takes it out on you by using these sarcastic jabs. You on the other hand, have a prestigious job where many women put you on a pedestal. This just adds fuel to her insecurities & she unknowingly sabotages your relationship. If you want to salvage this partnership, two things have to change.

She must leave her job even if it means you supporting her while she goes to school or learns a new career. Communicate to her how this sarcasm has to stop or you will leave the house every time she uses it. It is not to be tolerated and she needs to realize how often it is happening. (No confrontation, just remove yourself from the situation.) Make sure you are giving her positive feedback on a regular basis as this will contribute to her feeling less insecure as well. Making these alterations should put you on your way to a stronger & healthier relationship. Good for you for caring and making the effort to fix things at home. So many people would just walk out & not even try to understand how to correct it. Your girlfriend may just need a little support to change her ways.

Susan McCord

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Dating Tips: My Best Friend's Fiance is hitting on me!

VIEWER QUESTION: My Best Friend’s Fiance Is Hitting on me!

I hate the man my best friend is marrying. He is abrasive, chauvinistic and sometimes I even feel like he is hitting on me. I don’t even feel like I can approach my friend about this because she keeps telling me how perfect he is for her. Should I tell her how I feel?

Caring Friend


This is your “best” friend so it should be a no-brainer. Diplomacy is everything when discussing sensitive subjects. Leave out the hurtful parts about him humping your leg at any given chance, and start off gently with something you, and a few other friends noticed. There is an old saying that if more than two people tell you the same thing, you should listen!

Women really need to be more like men when it comes to these issues. Men say it like it is, and don’t hold a grudge. Don’t let her make the biggest mistake of her life. It is worth a little confrontation if it means saving her from a life of relationship Hell. We could all use a friend like that!

Susan McCord

Friday, August 6, 2010

Female Body Odor Down There- Question from a Male Viewer


A boyfriend writes in to Talk Show about how to deal with his girlfriends newly acquired odor down there. How does he tell her and what can be done about it?

Susan McCord @

Andrea Wesley @ http://www.MusicToMySoul-Tulip.Blogsp...

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Dating Talk: Simple Tips on "How to meet men"

Many women in Vancouver do not realize they are sabotaging meeting men, due to their own actions (or lack of actions.) Put yourself out there ladies, show men you are fun and willing to get out of your comfort zone occasionally. Body language can be your best friend when it comes to meeting men. Be aware of it!

One of the biggest questions I hear from women is where do you meet guys? Vancouver Dating Coach, Mick Lolekonda says this is one of the most popular discussions with his female clients.

Why is it so difficult for some women to meet a man? Is it because they do not get outside their home enough and make an effort? Maybe they don’t have enough interests that bring them into new circles. Being single means adding diversity to your life. Getting active and having a good "open attitude" is the best thing a women can do to get noticed.

• Go to a golf driving range and practice your swing, have a drink in the clubhouse after.
• Play tennis (play against the wall by yourself, this will bring partners to you even if you are not fantastic)
• Join a gym which is the best networking place anywhere (not a ladies only!)
• Local hiking and other adventures for singles (many cities have groups you can join for this activity)
• Take night courses at BCIT or Langara college
• Go to Lounges with live music

Lack of confidence is a date "killer", but the more a woman puts herself “out there” the more she will become comfortable in many different surroundings. Going to places that men frequent the most, sporting good stores, home depot, gyms and athletic events will improve a woman's chances of meeting a man in a sober environment. Attending the odd baseball or hockey game is also a good idea. (Women are still the minority at these venues, so they will stand out.) Women need to be themselves and leave the phony facade at home. Men like a woman who is down to earth and real. Having to peel off the onion layers will not keep a man interested.

Being adventurous and willing to try different things is all men really want to see, despite women thinking they have to be fantastic at everything they attempt. Going for a bike ride or taking in a football game, is simple and appreciated by most men in Vancouver. It’s not that difficult to stay active in the dating market, if little effort is made. You may actually get to have that second date and find someone compatible to be your partner down the road.
Susan McCord

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

How to have sexy shoulders (& look good in that little black dress)

Many people say how hard it is to compete with all the fit, good looking singles out there in Vancouver’s dating market, but how many of them really make the effort to get in shape? It is very easy to make excuses of being too busy to make it to the gym due to family or work related issues. Is it really just that people are too lazy to fit an exercise regimen in their lives because they would rather do anything but a workout? Who wants to date someone who doesn’t take pride in their health and fitness management?

Sun bathing or jogging at Vancouver’s beaches can be intimidating for individuals trying to get in shape. Hanging around Kitsilano or Yaletown is evidence at just how many hard bodies reside in this beautiful city. Coastal cities everywhere will have this same competition, because where there are beaches, there are bikini’s and speedos. It makes everyone more aware of their appearance and in many cases, insecure. Women check out other women more than men do. “What do men see in her?” “she has cellulite” “she looks good because she paid for it!” No woman wants to admit that they want to see a little flaw in even the most beautiful women. It is a sad, but comforting to many women who need the affirmation that they are not the only ones with imperfections.

Contrary to what most women think, men are not as critical about a woman carrying a few extra pounds. Men just want a woman to make an effort to keep fit, she doesn’t have to be running the Vancouver marathon or hiking up the grouse grind 4 times per week. They want a woman who takes care of herself but is not obsessed with her body and is spending 4 hours a day at Steve Nash/Fitness World. There has to be moderation and life has to have diversity. If you want a partner that looks good and takes care of them self, then it needs to be reciprocated. The person that is always making the effort, will ultimately lose interest in the partner who isn’t.

Walking an hour a day or joining a gym will not only help you meet new people and potential dates, but will lift your moods and self esteem. Getting started is difficult especially for those that are overweight. Start out at home with a beginner fitness DVD or invest in a treadmill, stationary bike or elliptical. Mark the calendar for exercise times like an appointment booking and follow through with it. Set the equipment next to the TV and do it during your favorite show or the CTV news hour after or before work. This way you can save a gym membership until you feel ready to be seen in public, and use that money to have a permanent piece of equipment at home. That way there is no excuse,& you have to walk by it every day as a reminder. If Vancouver condo living has space restrictions, there are machines that fold up under your bed when not in use. Everyone should be doing some form of cardiovascular workout and strength training. It is an investment in your health that should be a daily priority. Not caring about yourself is the sure way to put out to the universe that you won’t care about anyone else either.

Susan McCord @ &

How Long Should Sex Last?

Viewer Advice Question:

As a Man who really enjoys sex, I was wondering how long each sexual encounter should last?

Signed Minute Man

Dating & Socializing in Vancouver (Over Age 35)

Breathtaking mountains surrounded by numerous beaches make Vancouver, British Columbia one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Numerous restaurants and coffee shops line the popular and trendy sections of the downtown core. There are approximately 2,500,000 million people living in the lower mainland of Vancouver of all ethnicity's, which adds to the variations of excellent cuisine and culture!

The dating life in Vancouver is a conversation discussed regularly by the locals and visitors alike. (or lack of it!) What seems to be the problem? Canadians as a rule are more reserved than Americans or Europeans and for that reason alone, do not meet people easily in their own city. Traveling Canadians are seen as friendly and have a wonderful reputation throughout the world. Maybe this is due to the fact that people are more assertive when they are not being judged in their own environment. What do they have to lose?

Single people over thirty-five living in Vancouver are at a loss of where to meet someone and where to go out at night. There are areas that definitely cater to the younger crowd, but there are quite a few venues to hang out and not feel like a desperate lounge lizard for older men and women.

There is nothing wrong with going to the lounge of a restaurant and having a drink. Sitting at the bar is easier to meet others and start up a conversation. Cardero's in Coal Harbour and the Sandbar Restaurant on Granville Island are two of these establishments. Joe Fortes, near the hub of Robson Street is also a very popular hangout, especially in the warmer months when the beautiful roof top deck is open. Joey’s on Burrard St. has an amazing bar area that is nicely congested as well as the new Keg in Yaletown.

Mingling is the key to conversation. When trying to meet someone, do not seclude yourself in a booth at the back of a restaurant, choose an open environment. Going out in a group is intimidating to the opposite sex, try to avoid that scenario. Smile at the people you come in contact and don’t be afraid to say hi. Hanging around the washrooms handing out toiletries might work faster, but learning how to say hello is the easiest ice breaker ever.

At the very least be receptive to everyone who makes the effort to acknowledge you. Being too selective with your social contacts, may end up being the demise to your future dating life. You never know when you are being observed. Snubbing someone rudely because they are not your type could end up being a friend of the one you are attracted to.
Susan McCord

Dating Advice: Are You Addicted to Online Dating Sites?

Many people only date through online resources. This is mainly due to age, time and busy careers. You don’t even have to dress for the occasion unless you’re socializing with them through a Web cam. It is almost too easy, and this is what causes the addiction! It can be very exciting for some people who have always had a minimal personal life, to getting 5 e-mails a day from prospective dates!

Part of the problem is, the addiction is not necessarily even with meeting the contacts. And if you do end up meeting them, many people do not want to take their profiles off the dating site, in case it doesn’t work out. Even just online chatting, can keep people interested for a few months without ever meeting them, because that is all they want. This should be viewed as a Red Flag. (They are probably married or in a relationship.)

One of the frustrations with online dating, is how often people get contacted by the same people as their friends. It sounds like they are being disloyal but truly they aren’t. It is “all fair” until you remove yourself off the site, and become exclusive with them.

Just because it seems easy, you should still have the same morals and values you have always had. Don’t let too many things go, or give excuses for everything either. Know what “you want” going in. Make a list and try not to stray too far from your desires. When someone is into you, you will know. If it feels like it is too much work, it probably is.


• The minute you get home you turn on your computer
• You socialize less with friends
• You eat your meals, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth and do yoga in front of the computer so you don’t miss anything
• You check to see what your past dates are doing on line!
• You are going to bed later and later due to online chats
• You are becoming moody with regards to lack of online responses.
• You get depressed when there are no contacts every day.
• You are becoming introverted and removed.
• You have approached the same people more than once without realizing it.

Online dating is a great option especially with the economy spiraling and people are not going out as much. Meeting people is harder when you are older, as there are only so many venues that cater to the over 35 crowd.

It is a good idea to limit yourself to only one dating site; some people are on three or more. The “free dating sites,” are the most popular to join for obvious reasons. Trouble is everybody and their dog joins them, and they have nothing to lose financially. Many people are frustrated with those sites because no one follows through with anything. There are a few sites out there that cost a little more but they do the screening for you, and save you hours of chat time and searches. They match YOU up! People are more serious when they have to pay for something. The old saying: “you get what you pay for”, can be a true cliché in this case.

Don’t be shy of dating online, but keep your eyes open all the time. If any of the above addictions are becoming a part of your life, re-evaluate how you got to this place and make some changes. With so much to choose from and so many frivolous situations pending, it can be difficult to meet someone of substance. Being true to yourself and selective with your priorities in a potential partner, there won’t be a huge list of suitors to keep up with. It’s not about the quantity; it’s always been about quality when finding that special life partner, at the end of the day.
Susan McCord

Dating Advice For Women: Be real sexually!

Mick Lolekonda is a successful “dating coach” who offers a six week service to both men women in Vancouver, BC. His non- intimidating and friendly personality helps his clients to relax and remove anxiety. Mick’s genuine sincerity and extensive education helps teach people how to remove old patterns and become their “own” matchmaker. He’s convinced that women, as independent as they are today, long for genuine romance, seduction and a dignified sense of direction from their men. And yes, a woman may help the man out through the process, but ultimately still wants him to figure it out on his own.”

Mick recently Co-hosted a successful event with Wear Else, a women’s upscale clothing shop in kitsilano. (Wear Else is the winner for “best women’s apparel of 2010” by The Westender.) The audience geared towards women for this particular event with fashion assistance offered by the friendly Wear Else staff. Flutes of champagne & strawberry treats made the atmosphere relaxed and opened the floor to guest’s participation!

Conversation included:

· Why men don't call you back when you thought there was chemistry and what to do remedy this occurrence?

· How to attract the right men and where to find them?

· Why does it take men 3 days or longer to call after a date?

· Let the man take some initiative, do not chase him aggressively.

Mick’s evening program answered questions that women of all cultures were curious about. His male perspective was refreshing and educating for the female audience. The testimonials afterward, testify this to be true. Mick “practises what he preaches,” and is a well dressed and classy man right down to his trendy shoes. Mick is masculine yet gentle, which earns an immediate trust from his clients and anyone who initially meets him. Men do not feel judged or threatened by him which allows them to let their guard down with a unique comfort level.

Improving men & women’s dating experiences in Vancouver or any other city is an ongoing learning experience that everyone can excel from. Refresher courses and new concepts will keep even the biggest dating sceptics feeling like taking a chance on love. Everyone deserves to be loved and experience a fulfilling partnership...Sometimes we just need a little help to get us on the right path.

Susan McCord