Questions About Online Dating After 35

Are "The Rules" different for people over 35 when it comes to Internet Dating?
No I don’t think they are any different. I think we are less patient as we get older though. I don’t think many people would text each other 15 times before meeting in person like the younger group does. If they even know how to text LOL. It is all about respecting yourself first, at any age. That should be everyone's first rule.


What are the rules?

My rules were:

• “Don’t waste my time if you are not interested in meeting me”
• I’m not online to meet a buddy, I have enough male friends
• I wasn’t into chatting for a month before hooking up with them.
• If someone books a time to meet with you & cancels or stands you up, don’t contact them again. They are showing their true colors and not being respectful of your time. (Of course if they were in the hospital in a body cast that’s another story.)
• Be honest about your age & body type for both sexes. They are going to SEE you!
• Vices like smoking or alcoholism should not be hidden on your profile
• If you are not ready for a relationship STAY off the dating websites...see a counselor

What do you need to be aware of?

• Read between the lines or listen to what they say on the phone.
• If they say they don’t like kids & you are the Octomom, then find someone else.
• Look for signs that they may be in a relationship. Where are they calling you from? A closet or bathroom? Is it always somewhere outside their home? If you have had 5 dates already & have not seen their home, ask the question why?
• Watch how they treat others in your company. Are they rude, flirtatious, a show off, bossy?

How Do You Protect Yourself On An Internet Date & While Online?

• Have a friend close by for the first few dates
• Ask many questions about who they are online & in person
• Google them
• Let friends know where you will be meeting them & give them the phone number & email contact. Let your date know that some people know.
• Do not let them drive you anywhere until you know them better & always meet in a public place no matter how sincere they may sound in an email or phone call.
• Do not dress provocative , be selective in your dating attire. Dress your age too
• If they talk sex too early, stop it from continuing. Don’t lead them on before meeting them.

Is Internet Dating Safe?

Like many things today, safety has become compromised for many people in numerous situations. The key is to always be aware of your surroundings whether it is parking in an underground, putting your groceries in the car when late night shopping, or meeting a potential date.

Alcohol is the biggest problem for many women on a first date. They think it gives them liquid courage but truly it lets their intuitive guard down. This now makes her vulnerable to things she may have usually put a stop to. Her "spidey senses" are now muted & her safety is as well.

It is always best to meet during the day in a busy area for a coffee. You never want to be put in the position where you feel you owe them for something. Dinner & drinks can be a dangerous date!


What Are Your Reasons For Going Online & Does it Work For People Over 35?

I am a huge fan of online dating for the older crowd, especially in Vancouver. There are limited venues for 40 plus in this city, therefore less chance of meeting a potential partner. Single women who have very few friends to go out with, do not want to sit at a bar looking like a cougar or to appear desperate. It is very scary for many newly single women out of a divorce or long term partnership to get back out into the dating market as well.

The only big complaint that I have heard about online dating sites, is that the women say men in their 40’s or 50’s only want women 20 years younger. While that was true a few years ago, it now seems to be changing with the online dating crowd. There are so many more people to choose from than 10 years ago. People were more afraid of it & there were less dating sites to choose from. I love the fact that you can sit in your housecoat & flirt with guys!

The second complaint I hear is that many people say they are computer illiterate and wouldn’t know the first thing about how to set up a profile or how to use the website features. If I could teach a class on how to use a computer to change your life, I would teach it! Being left behind in the technology world will not improve your life with or without a partner. Why not learn everything you can & diversify your life? That’s what makes you attractive to a partner in the long run anyway. You may not need to resort to online dating as you will meet people along these new paths you take.
Susan McCord @ youtube/twobeavers

Dating & Socializing in Vancouver (Over Age 35)

Breathtaking mountains surrounded by numerous beaches make Vancouver, British Columbia one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Numerous restaurants and coffee shops line the popular and trendy sections of the downtown core. There are approximately 2,500,000 million people living in the lower mainland of Vancouver of all ethnicity's, which adds to the variations of excellent cuisine and culture!

The dating life in Vancouver is a conversation discussed regularly by the locals and visitors alike. (or lack of it!) What seems to be the problem? Canadians as a rule are more reserved than Americans or Europeans and for that reason alone, do not meet people easily in their own city. Traveling Canadians are seen as friendly and have a wonderful reputation throughout the world. Maybe this is due to the fact that people are more assertive when they are not being judged in their own environment. What do they have to lose?

Single people over thirty-five living in Vancouver are at a loss of where to meet someone and where to go out at night. There are areas that definitely cater to the younger crowd, but there are quite a few venues to hang out and not feel like a desperate lounge lizard for older men and women.

There is nothing wrong with going to the lounge of a restaurant and having a drink. Sitting at the bar is easier to meet others and start up a conversation. Cardero's in Coal Harbour and the Sandbar Restaurant on Granville Island are two of these establishments. Joe Fortes, near the hub of Robson Street is also a very popular hangout, especially in the warmer months when the beautiful roof top deck is open. Joey’s on Burrard St. has an amazing bar area that is nicely congested as well as the new Keg in Yaletown.

Mingling is the key to conversation. When trying to meet someone, do not seclude yourself in a booth at the back of a restaurant, choose an open environment. Going out in a group is intimidating to the opposite sex, try to avoid that scenario. Smile at the people you come in contact and don’t be afraid to say hi. Hanging around the washrooms handing out toiletries might work faster, but learning how to say hello is the easiest ice breaker ever.

At the very least be receptive to everyone who makes the effort to acknowledge you. Being too selective with your social contacts, may end up being the demise to your future dating life. You never know when you are being observed. Snubbing someone rudely because they are not your type could end up being a friend of the one you are attracted to.
Susan McCord

Dating Advice: Are You Addicted to Online Dating Sites?

Many people only date through online resources. This is mainly due to age, time and busy careers. You don’t even have to dress for the occasion unless you’re socializing with them through a Web cam. It is almost too easy, and this is what causes the addiction! It can be very exciting for some people who have always had a minimal personal life, to getting 5 e-mails a day from prospective dates!

Part of the problem is, the addiction is not necessarily even with meeting the contacts. And if you do end up meeting them, many people do not want to take their profiles off the dating site, in case it doesn’t work out. Even just online chatting, can keep people interested for a few months without ever meeting them, because that is all they want. This should be viewed as a Red Flag. (They are probably married or in a relationship.)

One of the frustrations with online dating, is how often people get contacted by the same people as their friends. It sounds like they are being disloyal but truly they aren’t. It is “all fair” until you remove yourself off the site, and become exclusive with them.

Just because it seems easy, you should still have the same morals and values you have always had. Don’t let too many things go, or give excuses for everything either. Know what “you want” going in. Make a list and try not to stray too far from your desires. When someone is into you, you will know. If it feels like it is too much work, it probably is.

9 SIGNS YOU ARE ADDICTED:

• The minute you get home you turn on your computer
• You socialize less with friends
• You eat your meals, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth and do yoga in front of the computer so you don’t miss anything
• You check to see what your past dates are doing on line!
• You are going to bed later and later due to online chats
• You are becoming moody with regards to lack of online responses.
• You get depressed when there are no contacts every day.
• You are becoming introverted and removed.
• You have approached the same people more than once without realizing it.

Online dating is a great option especially with the economy spiraling and people are not going out as much. Meeting people is harder when you are older, as there are only so many venues that cater to the over 35 crowd.

It is a good idea to limit yourself to only one dating site; some people are on three or more. The “free dating sites,” are the most popular to join for obvious reasons. Trouble is everybody and their dog joins them, and they have nothing to lose financially. Many people are frustrated with those sites because no one follows through with anything. There are a few sites out there that cost a little more but they do the screening for you, and save you hours of chat time and searches. They match YOU up! People are more serious when they have to pay for something. The old saying: “you get what you pay for”, can be a true cliché in this case.

Don’t be shy of dating online, but keep your eyes open all the time. If any of the above addictions are becoming a part of your life, re-evaluate how you got to this place and make some changes. With so much to choose from and so many frivolous situations pending, it can be difficult to meet someone of substance. Being true to yourself and selective with your priorities in a potential partner, there won’t be a huge list of suitors to keep up with. It’s not about the quantity; it’s always been about quality when finding that special life partner, at the end of the day.
Susan McCord