Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Behavior breeds behavior

Life is so much easier if you react to negativity with opposition. It throws a curve ball that the other person isn’t expecting. It defuses the escalation of an angry reaction if handled properly. If you sound patronizing, it will heighten their aggression even more. Be careful by being aware of your body language and initial reaction in the beginning.

When dealing with an angry customer or client in many job environments, most of us instantly get our backs up. Having a finger pointed in your face, automatically brings a defensive response. It makes people feel disrespected and belittled. Letting people rant and have their say, is what most people really want. They need validity that their point is being heard. By reacting as negative as they are, just adds fuel to the fire. Feeling their pain for a moment will alleviate further anger, and hearing them out is usually a calming behavior modifier.

Behavior patterns are quite interesting in all realms of life. A child emulates their parents or siblings. Spouses who have been married for a long time start to act and sound alike. Animals respond to negative & positive feedback whether it due to an affectionate tummy rub or a scolding. (Most people yawn when someone near them does & the same thing happens when someone smiles at them.) It is contagious or a mirrored behavior.

Behavior can also be used as a manipulative tool. If you know someone’s personality and what buttons to push for your benefit, you are using their behavioral actions. This is how con artists pounce on their prey, by reading their behavioral patterns. Cult leaders have learned the way to manipulate through behavioral brainwashing. Their followers look at it as mentoring.

When entering into a stressful group situation, whether it is a family scenario or work related issue, the leader needs to be calm and rational to bring the same behavior out of the other people in the room. Pats on the back are positive rewards. Think about a playground in your neighborhood or your childhood. The bully always has a group of disciples. They are too young to know the right way to use their own judgment. They want to be accepted no matter what, and are looking for direction in any form. These kids lack self esteem and need guidance to remove them from future negativity.

Learning how to read people quickly will help you put in less time with negative friendships or relationships. In the dating world many men say they don’t know what a woman wants. By learning to read her body language and behaviors, they will understand who she really is.

Try not to talk negative and believe your positive actions will rectify a situation. Use your skills to massage the best out of people. It is contagious when sincerity is put forth. People hunger for positive re-enforcement; they don’t want to be negative. One person can make a difference, why can’t it be you?

Susan McCord http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

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