Monday, November 29, 2010

CBC Facebook Survey: Breakups Over Christmas




Why do so many people breakup over Christmas? Is it the money? The fear of meeting your partner's family? Or is it a pressure that is put on the relationship for more of a commitment?

Susan McCord @ http://www.vancouverdatingrelationshipadvice.com

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Whats The Big Deal About Reality Show - Jersey Shore?




OK Tell me why Jersey Shore is so popular? I understand that it is different & people want to live vicariously through this group of people that have so much fun, but is is something that will last through more than 4 seasons? I must admit, it is pretty crazy & not boring! Is this the reason it is a #1 hit? Tell us what you think!

Susan McCord @ http://www.vancouverdatingrelationshipadvice.com
http://www.beavertalk.com

Friday, November 26, 2010

Getting Dumped Before Christmas

Today is Friday November 26, 2010



Facebook says you're about to be dumped

By denise ryan 26 Nov 2010 COMMENTS(0) Love/Life

Filed under: relationships, facebook, Dating

Facebook knows when you'll get dumped. It's in the next two weeks. Merry Christmas everyone.

According to Brit journalist David McCandless, who scraped data from over 10,000 facebook status updates, the first two weeks of December are peak times for heartbreak.

More couples will break up in the weeks leading up to Christmas than at any other time of year, although Spring Break (who wants a gf or bf on Spring Break?) comes close.

For anyone who is in a relationship, and doesn't yet know whether they're going to be his or her date for the Christmas party, the silence is probably a sign that you're heading for a seasonal break up.

Susan McCord, Vancouver dating and relationships expert, calls it "The Christmas question."

"Any time there is money involved, where you have to buy gifts and there is a financial pressure, you do become vulnerable."

But it's not just about money. The holiday season raises the stakes.

"People stress themselves out around Christmas. You've got this whole family thing. People start saying what am I doing in this relationship? If they've been dating for a year or so, they might feel pressure to pop the question, and might not be ready to do that."

The pressure of the upcoming season can spike fighting, said McCord. "If you've each got kids and havent met them, it adds to the pressure. On the other hand, if you've been together four or five months and you're not being asked to come to certain functions, family or work, it causes a lot of pressure. You might start asking yourself what am I doing hanging around here?"

McCord speaks from personal experience. She raised her son as a single mom. She confesses that she was more often the dumper than the dumpee, and yes, pre-Christmas was often the breaking point. Breaking up is sometimes just what you do if Christmas is coming and you've got a kid.

"If you're not sure, it heightens everything. Fear of commitment, fear of meeting family."

Meeting family was the last thing McCord wanted to do. Partly because she didn't want to put her son through that, and also, if she wasn't ready to commit, she didn't want to put whomever she was dating through meeting her larger-than-life Dad.

"My father is right in your face," she jokes. "He's 'what are you doing with my daughter'! If I took them to a family function it was because we had a totally committed relationship at that point."

Gifts and expectations are another minefield the less-sure half of a vulnerable couple may want to avoid.

If you've met your bf or gf in the summer, Christmas is just about at the six-month point. The six-month point, McCord says, is make or break: make a commitment or move on.

The average amount young couples spend on each other at Christmas is $1,000, says McCord. "It's not just a Timex watch anymore."

Especially among young people, the prime facebook demographic of under-25s, many of whom are status-oriented, the pressure to overspend can be enough to push a vulnerable relationship over the edge.

"They start saying, do I really want to spend a thousand dollars?" says McCord. "Young boys and girls I know also get dumped before their birthdays for the same reason."

McCord, just for the record, has been married for three years. She had only been going out with the guy she later married for a few months when Christmas hit. He got her a silver bracelet that was thoughtful, represented a commitment (it was jewellery, after all), but had cost, she estimates, about $100.

It was perfect. If he'd spent more, she says, it would have scared her away.

How do you deal with it? Vancouver boutique dating coach Mick Lolekonda advises that you get out and enjoy the season. Be more social, not less. Spend time with friends and family. Don't isolate.

"Focus on making great connections, and expanding your social networks."

He also reccomends cutting ties with your ex so you can release any emotional holds more easily: Delete the contact phone number, take them off facebook. Whatever it takes to clear some space.

The holidays, he points out, are also a wonderful time to meet new people. "People are more open, they're more sensitive, their guards are down, they're going to more events, they're more social."

Who knows? That breakup could be the best thing that ever happened to you.

So I want to know. Have you been on the receiving end of the pre-Christmas dump? Or have you dumped before Christmas?

Let me know how you survived.

(For the record, I have had the December dump, a few years ago. It was, in a word, rotten.)

check out Susan McCord online at

http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

http://www.vancouverdatingrelationshipadvice.com

Funny Bedroom Etiquette



Growing up, some people were lucky to have had guidance in many areas of their lives, but how many had a "sex etiquette teacher|"? Unless you have made a conscious effort to learn a little about sexual etiquette, chances are, you may be somewhat naive about what it is, and how to improve it. (Especially if you have not dated a lot.)

The points below will help novice daters, and remind & refresh attitudes of even the most experienced lovers!

• Be tactful & respectful when talking about sexual history. Don’t wait to talk about it in the bedroom! Be polite and use diplomacy. Do not use "opening lines" like: “Do you have any diseases,” or “Can I have a list of the last 10 people you have slept with?”

• First and foremost, it is considered poor etiquette to leave your partner sexually unsatisfied in the bedroom unless you have talked about it and you are working on improving it together. Not everyone can orgasm easily, but it doesn’t let you off the hook not to try every time!

• If you have more than one lover, remove any evidence of someone being there previously. That includes washing the sheets! You would think this was a given, but you would be very surprised at how many people do not clean their rooms regularly.

• Condom wrappers are not decorations and neither are "spanking the monkey" tissue remnants! If you are having sex with someone for the first time, you might want to do a spot check on just what exactly is in your bedroom and the medicine cabinet! (Many a story has been told, due to this oversight.)

• Ensure there is toilet paper and a clean towel & face cloth for your guest, regardless of whether they are spending the entire night. ( Mouth wash is also a nice touch)

• Have a couple of toothbrushes on hand and some disposable razors.

• Guys, please have some tampons under your sink at all times, there is nothing more embarrassing for a woman than a surprise at that time of the month. Leave them in the front so she doesn’t have to dig for them or have to ask you.

• If you expect someone to participate in oral sex for an hour, don’t hand them a snorkel without reciprocating orally! It is not a one-way street. You will end up with a very bad reputation if you are a selfish lover. People talk whether you are lousy or great in bed.

• Don’t grab her ponytail or head as an indicator that you would like her to to perform fellatio, and use the ice cream cone lick when you are first learning about her, down south. Sex Films make women look like they want it hard and rough, most women don’t. When in doubt, ask or watch her body language when you first start cunnilingus.

• Men really enjoy reciprocation but also need to be treated gently in the beginning. They are pretty good at guiding women with oral sex and letting them know if they want a lollipop or soother technique.

• Do not "text" someone while performing oral sex!

• Keep the dominatrix apparel out of sight until you have established something with your date. Shackles/ handcuffs/ latex and whips, might be a bit much too soon! If your partner is extremely opposite to your sexual tastes, be honest and move on.
(Someone else will appreciate your Little Red Riding outfit or Latex Batman costume.)

• Have a shower and floss your teeth. If you have a planned date, don’t chew garlic cloves before they arrive. It is offensive and over powering. It certainly does not make someone want to kiss you romantically and it is rude.

• Hygiene is the most important of all sex etiquette. Shaving or waxing is being respectful of your partner. No one wants a mouth of hair! Bring out the garden shears if you have to and that goes for your toenails too. If they can open cans, they are in need of pedicure. That goes for both sexes.

Susan McCord http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

HOW TO JOIN THE MILE HIGH CLUB! Part 1




Joining the Mile High club is on just about everybody's bucket list. Get first hand ADVICE from an Ex-Flight Attendant on how to have sex at 35,000 ft!
Susan McCord @ http://www.beavertalk.com

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Dating Advice: When Roommates Become Lovers



What happens if you are sexually attracted to your roommate? Talk show hosts tell their own stories of what transpired with their own roommates of the past! Friend's with benefits can be good for short term but do they work out with a commitment in the end?
Susan McCord @ http://www.vancouverdatingrelationshipadvice.com
http://www.beavertalk.com

Friday, November 12, 2010

Women Discuss Men's Health Magazine & Jimmy The Bartender





Women talk show hosts discuss Jimmy the bartender's advice column in Men's Heath Magazine. Is it OK for a guys girlfriend to join a men's group of golfers on a guys day out? She doesn't know how to golf & is slowing down the game.

Susan McCord @ http://www.vancouverdatingrelationshipadvice.com
http://www.beavertalk.com

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Susan McCord - MORE Magazine

Susan McCord is a member of the More community and publishes on www.more.com. We think you may like to read their work.